I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
