Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
