I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just googled if crying burns calories
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
