Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
barbara walters just said penis...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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