Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
