who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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