direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
BRING THE BAGELS
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
