Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
