haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
