Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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