I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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