i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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