he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
