I want to have your abortion
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
