Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
