Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
