So drunk its hurt
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
