I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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