I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
