Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
