I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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