im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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