watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
