that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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