im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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