Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
