brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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