I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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