During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
