I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
