problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
