I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
