i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
