There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
