Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Houston, we have a squirter
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
