people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
