is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
