1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
