Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
