somebody snuck up and got me drunk
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
