At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
