Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
