he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
