is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
