So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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