it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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