Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
