guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize