First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
