Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
