You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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